Spirituality: Knowing Yourself as You Truly Are

How I wish someone had taught me the fundamentals of spirituality when I was training to be a Lutheran minister. The reality is that we were groomed to be theologians and preachers, with a dash of pastoral counselling and a pinch of administration to round out the skills of a parish pastor. Spirituality? Contemplative prayer? The direct experience of God? That was largely left out. It was life (or more precisely, the struggles of life) that brought those lessons home. These struggles arose from circumstances beyond my control, but more often from the noise of my ego as I fumbled forward into my humanity. Fortunately, spirituality has a way of landing me in a state of peace and abundance, gratitude and connection. Even more, this gives me a glimpse into how Jesus experienced himself, fully aware of his true nature. Could it be ours as well? After all, the aim of faith (as astonishing as it may sound) is not simply to believe in him but to become like him. Here's what I’ve learned, distilled into seven simple points:

1. Spirituality is about knowing yourself as you truly are

This is the essence: beneath the body, thoughts, emotions, and roles, there is a core of Being; pure consciousness, presence, or divine awareness. Spiritual practice is not about adding more to the self, but peeling away layers until what remains is your authentic, timeless nature. All genuine spiritual traditions point toward this inward journey, from Buddhism’s insight into non-self to Christian mysticism’s union with God.

2. Suffering is the gateway, not the punishment

This is a hard one, but as Fr. Richard Rohr states, “All spirituality is about what we do with our pain.” Spiritual growth is accelerated through challenge, struggle, and existential confrontation, not because suffering is “good,” but because it catalyzes self-awareness, compassion, and the release of egoic attachment. The darkness, fully faced, becomes a teacher. Yes, one can awaken to that natural state of grace and unifying love, for it is our true nature. But few of us remain awake, and suffering is inevitable on this human road.

3. Nonduality: there is no separate self

True spirituality recognizes that the individual self is an illusion. As Alan Watts said, the “you” you cling to is like a wave trying to pretend it is separate from the ocean. Everything is interconnected, everything arises from the same ground of being, and the sense of separation is a temporary construct. Spiritual awakening is realizing you are both the wave and the ocean.

4. Spirituality is lived, not conceptualized

It is fully present in action: in loving, in creating, in facing fear, in seeing the sacred in everyday life. It is imminent and transcendent, private yet publicly expressed, found in the mundane and the extraordinary alike.

5. Presence and relational resonance are more important than technique

No method, ritual, or book can substitute for deep presence, for your own awareness, compassion, and integrity. This is why I propose that your spirituality is determined more by the quality of your love than the content of your belief.

6. Spirituality and ego deconstruction are partners in transformation

The ego resists, clings, and fears disappearance, but surrender to reality, presence, and the flow of consciousness reveals an expansive state of grace. Spirituality guides this deconstruction, transforming existential distress into awakening.

7. Humor, humility, and awe are essential companions

Spiritual insight is often accompanied by playfulness, wonder, and the realization that no one is really in control. Laughter at one’s own egoic foibles is as much a sign of awakening as meditation or prayer.

This last point is deeply personal, for my ego never fails to provide material for a laugh. Chief among its jokes is the illusion that I could ever “advance” spiritually. The truth is simpler, and far funnier: there is no progress, only the unfolding of my broken, ridiculous humanity as it shines, however imperfectly, as an instrument of grace. If comedy is tragedy seen in hindsight, then may we all have a good laugh at the end (and maybe along the way, too).

Resources:

I sometimes recommend books, tools, and other resources that I believe may be helpful. If you choose to purchase through the links I share, I may receive a small commission at no extra cost to you. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases. Thank you for supporting my work in this way—it helps me continue offering resources and guidance.

• Richard Rohr – Everything Belongs – Finding meaning and spiritual growth in all life experiences.

• Thich Nhat Hanh – The Miracle of Mindfulness – Practical guidance on mindfulness and presence.

• Alan Watts – The Book: On the Taboo Against Knowing Who You Truly Are  – Introduction to nondual spirituality and experiential awareness.

• Eckhart Tolle – The Power of Now – Learning to live fully in the present moment.

• Rupert Spira – The Nature of Consciousness – Nondual insights into awareness and the self.

• Center for Action and Contemplation – www.cac.org – Online teachings and courses in contemplation and spiritual practice.